Public relations, well done, is an art — an important and necessary evil — but nonetheless, an art.
In my 50-plus years in media, I have dealt with thousands of public relations professionals and read tens of thousands of their press releases. Most of those folks were superb artists, some were merely turd polishers.
As a young publisher, before the days of the Internet and social media, I tried to teach PR people — and my own reporters and editors — what it took to get a release published. For any of you in the profession, these rules still apply, regardless of how your work may be published — traditionally or “cyberly.”
1. Lead with actual news. Three or four paragraphs about the wonders of your company’s recent success shouldn’t come before you break the news that you just bought out Amazon.
2. It’s hackneyed, but don’t forget the basics: Who, What, When, Where, Why and How.
3. This is a news story, not an ad. Avoid superlatives like “world-class” or “industry-leading” unless you can prove it. More on this later.
4. Make it easy to use. An editor loves nothing more than a release well-written enough to simply be forwarded to the design folks for posting on a page. I can’t tell you how many releases languish in a folder — maybe never to see the light of day — because the effort to retool them into useful copy just isn’t worth it.
In addition to these basics, there are many other obvious must-dos. Among them: Use salient quotes. Keep it short but complete — editors don’t want to call you for a fact you should have included. And above all, proofread, proofread, proofread.
Now consider this recent press release. I’ve changed the names — company, people, places and products — and only exaggerated it a wee bit (see Rule 3 above).
Strategic Wellness Titan Ushers in Bold New Era of Transformative Nutritional Excellence
SALT LAKE CITY — ColonyOne Health Supplements, the world’s premier, category-defining architect of synergistic wellness optimization solutions, proudly announced today the revolutionary appointment of globally respected and renowned nutraceutical pioneer Thad J. Pemberton as CEO.
Pemberton joins ColonyOne Health Supplements after an illustrious tenure at competitor Better Diets 4 You, where his unparalleled leadership and relentless passion for holistic vitality disrupted paradigms, shattered expectations and reportedly caused three standing ovations during quarterly earnings calls.
“We are absolutely electrified to welcome Thad to the Colony family,’ said interim executive chairman Blaine Butterworth. “His once-in-a-generation blend of visionary stewardship, operational dynamism and thought-leadership excellence makes him uniquely positioned to accelerate our mission of empowering humanity through next-generation digestive wellness ecosystems.”
Under Pemberton’s leadership, Colony plans to expand its award-eligible portfolio of probiotic capsules, adaptogenic beverage crystals and clinically inspired gut-harmony experiences into more than 17 emerging lifestyle verticals by Q3.
“I am humbled, energized and profoundly aligned with Colony’s transformational purpose-journey,” said Pemberton. ‘Together, we will redefine what’s possible at the intersection of microbiome innovation, consumer-centric vitality solutions and premium capsule-based empowerment.”
Industry analysts have already described the appointment as “historic,” “bold,” and “surprisingly aggressive for the powdered supplements sector.”
About Colony Health Supplements:
Colony Health Supplements is a globally admired leader in science-forward wellness amplification technologies dedicated to helping consumers unlock their fullest probiotic potential.
Ludicrous, maybe even silly?
Not really. Every descriptor — adjective or adverb — in the foregoing has appeared in a press release that has crossed my desk (actually, my email) in recent years.
And it’s a lead-pipe cinch (look it up, youngsters) that journalists, overwhelmed with overstuffed inboxes and juggling multiple beats under tight deadlines, will want little to do with such pap (look it up, youngsters).
One more sin of modern purveyors of PR: excessive “technobabble”:
“At Quantum Synergenetics, we’re proud to unveil the HyperFuzion Nexus X9, the industry’s first AI-enabled, blockchain-secured, cloud-native, quantum-optimized, edge-computing platform, featuring proprietary neuron-adaptive machine-learning orchestration and a zero-latency, API-first microservices architecture. Powered by a next-generation, multi-threaded, predictive analytics engine with autonomous decision matrices and dynamic scalability, the X9 seamlessly leverages digital-twin synchronization, hyperspectral data fusion, decentralized consensus protocols and containerized Kubernetes deployment to maximize cross-platform interoperability.”
OK, that wasn’t real. AI and I made it up. But you get the point. And believe me when I tell you that not a single editor I know will take the time to translate it into understandable prose. Gotta dumb it down before you send it out.
In a day when garbage news stories outnumber real ones by a factor of 10, good public relations operations are still a noble quest. C’mon, you flacks, do it right.
John Rogers is a 50-year veteran of Utah Media. He retired as managing editor of the Salt Lake Business Journal in 2025 and is now a part-time contributor to the paper. He can be reached at john.r@thecityjournals.com.